Note to Self by Erica Hesketh

I couldn’t help but notice
how good you look in those dungarees,
how serenely you crossed over
the platform just now still feeding,
one hand firm across your baby’s back
like you’ve been doing this
for years and not four shaky weeks –
I couldn’t help but notice
how your lopsided breasts tell a story,
the beauty of your whole body
stepping into the shower
at strange times of day,
how meticulously you plan
in order to have the space to be
the responsive mother you wanted –
I couldn’t help but notice
your determination
to make this relationship work,
the way you talk about mothering
as work, how frank you are
without ever thinking it brave,
the solace that gives –
I couldn’t help but notice
how ravaged you are and yet
how utterly engrossed,
the way she looks at you,
the way she looks just like you,
how miraculously –

………………..

Erica Hesketh is a poet and musician based in London. She is currently working on a poetry collection reflecting on the early years of motherhood. During the week she runs the Poetry Translation Centre, a charity dedicated to celebrating contemporary poetry from around the world in English translation.

Twitter: @hesketherica